I have never been one who didn't know how to mind my business, mostly when it came to being judge-mental about what others had going on in their lives, I know I could easily be where they are, so what they have going on has nothing to do with me, but recently I've learned that I don't mind my business in other ways.
Caring for people and trying to be considerate lately has seemed to get me in trouble, because most times Im showing that i'm trying to be helpful but it really comes off as asking too many questions and worrying about things that dont affect me. I rarely actually say out of my mouth "I'm trying to be helpful" So I thought that maybe my help wasn't coming off as help. If you don't say out of your mouth "How Can I be helpful" and just start "Helping" then it may come off as butting your head into something that no one asked you to butt your head into. Sometimes people simply don't want your help.....period. So Now, I ask the question before I insert myself into what is going on automatically.
Now this is what I thought my lesson was, but I think God has me minding my own business for a reason. My joy is constantly taken from me and as I always say it is because I worry about not just what I have going on, but what others have going on. My mind has not stayed on God and what HE wants me to do. I Have not been focused on my positivity, always worrying about things that don't concern me or that God has already worked out. I have literally been all in God's business. I am constantly offended for other people, upset for other people, sad for other people, AND MYSELF! And I have no joy because of it. I've been trying to get out more often, get some me time in, and do things I love to do, but I can never seem to wholeheartedly enjoy myself.
I have to learn to be happy.....I just have to. I have to know that whatever is for me God is working on and it is none of my business right now. I have to learn that what God is doing in other peoples lives is not always for me to worry about. If I can be a help then God will let me know, but If I don't get the inclination to give myself to someone I simply wont. Not everyone deserves the kind of friend I try to be, and I told God never again would I have someone I truly consider a friend get more benefits from our friendship than me. I know exactly who God has me to be a ram in the bush for, and when they need me I am there, but no more going out of my way for people who may not deserve that or even want that.
It has to be understood that sometimes when you constantly come to peoples rescue you may be interfering with what God is trying to do in their lives. If you are always there to pick someone up when they fall then they will always expect you and continue to fall knowing you will be there, whether it comes to coworkers, friends, or family, or even church family. God has a specific plan for all of us, and you have to know when you are really supposed to help, or get out of Gods business.
I think my lesson has been learned. I got through a tough time in life simply by being hopeful, expecting from God, and positive. I have more than i've probably ever had on my own and can't seem to be as positive, and this is when im supposed to be happiest, and grateful. So back to positive Tia is where I will be going. I cannot worry about things that aren't my business, whether it is other's business, or God's business. My battles are not mine. What I feel I should have God has already given to be whether it is now or a year from now. Sometimes wanting more for others than God has for them right now can be hard to deal with, we are all really and truly supposed to be on earth to give and be there for one another and to love, and if your heart is with God then that is all you want to do....but that is not ALWAYS in the plan just yet, most people have to fall before they get up and do better.
I Wish I had a me for me, but most times I don't. There is no one that goes over and beyond for me, and knowing how that feels I want to make sure people I care about don't have to feel that way, but I am only human and officially focused on what God wants me to be focused on.
I am going to let go and let God.
