I wish that feeling "Some Kind Of way" was an explainable feeling. I hate that emotion specifically because it is un-explainable. It is an emotion that cannot be fixed immediately. The most you can do is pray it away.
I think that feeling "Some kind of way" may actually mean that you have EVERY emotion, and you don't really know how to sort them. Your happy, but sad, but mad, but lonely, but sleepy, but hungry (lol). That emotion is dangerous, it is the one that causes you to think the most.
I have had a week of people talking to me in a manner that doesn't sit well with me, and I already have a build up of anger so any minute someone could see a side of me that I keep hidden. I am very blessed right now, but something is still missing, there are issues still lingering. I still feel alone, even with having newer people in me life who show me love and support, I can never seem to get rid of that lonely feeling.
I had come so far in being able to control my emotions, my expectations, and my quickness to be offended, but I feel a relapse coming on. I feel a personality in me stirring that has come with age, and its called "Fed Up Girl". Lately, everybody irks me, everybody seems untrustworthy, or have motives that don't have my, or other peoples best interest at heart. I used to look at people and give them the benefit of the doubt, now, I look through people.
The inability for humans to act right makes me treat them like a species different from mine. I can never understand why people just cant........do right. But then again it isn't for me to understand, all I know is that "People" have become my greatest annoyance, but I can't control others. The things people do, the way people are. It is hard for me to enter a new area in my life and trust it, because where people are involved it is always a flip of the coin.... 50/50.
I've been praying about these feelings, because it is causing me doubt in areas in my life I was very sure about just a few months ago. I know that being a girl doesn't work out in my favor because we are automatically emotional, but i've NEVER been an emotional creature, I dont know where all the crying is coming from, the anger, any of it. I like to be able to pin point what is wrong with me and I just can't.......
maybe everything is wrong with me.
Sometimes you just gotta rock with that.....
