Pity Party

Can I just say how much I hate this season i'm in?

Not weather season, but a season of my "journey". I woke up to some news that has me sad, upset, and frustrated. As I processed this news, I was literally flooding my brain with reasons why its not that big of a deal, why it will be okay, why God is still good. I dont want to take this mood with me for the rest of the day.... i cant, I have finals and I need to focus.

However......

I need my pity party, if only for a moment, an hour, ten minutes, hell a day. I dont let my pity moments go past a day because I simply can't afford to dwell. 

I'm tired y'all.......

Im so over this, so over being the girl that I am, tired of wondering when i'm going to catch a break. I know God is working, at least I think I know. The news itself was bittersweet actually, but when youre soooooo tired......sooooo tired of things going left its hard to see the "little bit" of right. What i'm feeling right now is not even allowed because I know how well God has kept me, but I just feel that I am allowed a pity party. After I push publish on this post...... I will go on with my day and simply get over it, The devil isnt allowed to keep me down....... 

But im saying all this to say mostly for someone else. Do not allow yourself to never sit in a moment and be over it, and cry, and say why. This is how everything builds up and you end up in a "Columbine situation" . Take that moment to access what you are feeling, but make sure that it leads to freedom from the situation. Make sure it leads to encouragement, make sure it leads back to how good God is even through the trials and tribulations of life. Alot of people teach to be happy and joyous and praise filled in a bad moment......to me, thats just not all the way realistic. Human emotion is not set up like that, it takes practice. I feel that the more you allow yourself just a speck of time to be in your feelings and even more time getting out of them the less you will need a pity party, but it will not come overnight, and if you suppress how you feel trying to be happy when youre not then you will eventually blow up. Just sitting here blogging about how terrible I feel has made me feel better, and that doesnt mean I wont think about this later, it just means im not willing to dwell and let satan win. I have so much to be thankful for. Pity party.....officially over.

"There is no sin in being weary, the sin is in giving up"

~Joyce Meyer~