The good thing about Yesterday, is that it really doesn't affect today....
I recently wrote a blog about my pride. I didn't share it, although I meant to because I kind of wanted feedback. Last week was a "struggle week" mostly mentally because I was afraid that I would have to "ask" people for something. My pride just couldn't handle it. After realizing I was being dramatic, I calmed myself down and told myself that If I wanted to be delivered from my pride I would have to exit out of my comfort zone. The very next day after writing the blog I started a book that a buddy sent to me from California (Shout out to Tiff). She told me the book was about the spirit of being Offended. I was SOOOOO excited to finally receive that book because that is another problem that I wanted to be delivered from, after all it is important to know your flaws and ask God for change........
Now.......imagine my surprise (but not really knowing the way God operates) when I crack open the book and the majority of the first chapter talks about how pride works in offense...... It was so weird because it hadn't even been 24 hours since I wrote the blog..... The first chapter forced me to sit back and understand where the pride i Harbor comes from. Really its from Childhood. Since I've always had discernment I always knew what we didn't have, and so I rarely asked for anything, knowing I would be rejected of it, or simply out of consideration I didn't ask so that I didn't come off self-centered. Alot of it was based in rejecttion though. Rejection offends me the most..... So I don't ask for anything.
I thought that was somewhat of a breakthrough......and it was.....but Today I got my whole life.
Today I read chapter 3, and from the first scripture I was hooked. This chapter talked about Joseph, and how his brothers betrayed him, set out to kill him because of the dreams of leadership God had given him. They didn't kill him but instead sold him into slavery and told their father he died. In being in slavery and thrown into jail for years Joseph decided not to be offended by his brothers. What really got me was that in the end his brothers came to him when God put him in leadership needing him, and he gave to them not only what they needed but the BEST of what he had.
I got super cry baby after reading it, it was inspiring. The way the author wrote of that story and explained how what others mean for your harm is really God allowing it to happen to put you in place for leadership and your calling. Everything I had been dealing with mentally lately just became so clear. Its crazy, People can lie on you, have you put in jail, set out to kill you, beat you, hurt you, break you........and what was meant for harm only strengthens you for where God is taking you. It was amazing to me to have an actual example, of a situation that was so much worse than mine and yet they STILL came out victorious.
Now of course i've heard plenty of times to be content, Gods gonna bring you out....It went in one ear and out the other.... I was tired of hearing that. But that scripture on the picture really resonated with me today......What YOU meant for my harm, God meant for my good......It makes it so much easier to love with the love of God, because no matter what anyone means for me good or bad.....God was STILL using them to put me in a situation to eventually bless me!! Only YOU can allow that harm to be used by satan. It feels great to know that even if its a long while from now I can literally praise God in the hallway because I have the example of Joseph to be inspired by.....knowing that door is going to be opened no matter what the enemy may try. Finally I feel that I can be happy EVEN in bad times.......I have NEVER felt that way before....ever.
I really recommend this book. So many suffer from the bait of offense, people literally SEARCH for reasons to be offended. Never putting themselves in another persons shoes, never realizing people are the way they are for a reason, never using the love of God to understand a situation. I particularly feel that Offense is running WILD in Michigan. Everyone is mad, and offended, and hurt, and selfish because of that hurt, and hurt because they were offended, and offended because they allowed satan to set that trap......Can you imagine honestly being set free from offense??? What joy and happiness will come from that? After offense comes so many other emotions, anger, sadness, insecurities.....man. It is impossible to not be offended, but to be able to control it is awesome. I never cried from four pages in a book, I felt something come over me that I have never felt before. I didn't even see it coming, one minute I was reading and the next I was tearing up. God is indeed good.......and by the way, I actually never ended up having to ask for anything.....God fixed it.
I know this is a long read but I feel really good about what I've learned today because I KNOW that I will be able to use it. I didn't expect my blog to be about my walk with God, and I talk about God a whole lot, but i'm not ashamed of my relationship with Christ.....and if you are then that is a problem that you have not me.
Today more than ever, all I want is to be used by God, and when you say that and mean it you really don't know what you have gotten yourself into because God will do JUST THAT, you'll find yourself somewhere in Africa trying to preach to a village messing around with the Lord lol...but I really mean it. I'm scared a little, but from what I've read today I am so much more prepared and i'm confident that my growth in "situations" will have prepared me for whatever my calling is.
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