The Introverts Fear of Leading

Today it is on my mind to talk about my lack of WANTING to be a leader

I see this as a problem. Because im an introvert it is custom for me to always want to stand in the background and do what I can do without the pressure of leading a group and having to be responsible for its failure. The funny part is that I naturally have leadership skills, and people naturally ask me how to do things or where to start. 

My dwindling (and I say that because im working on it) fear of rejection and failure makes it hard for me to take charge of many situations, and yet I almost ALWAYS end up in a situation where I am forced to take charge. Just yesterday my class was working on a mock trial. We were split up into Defendants Vs. Plaintiffs, the groups separated to work and I immediately knew what needed to happen, and that me and my home girl Timika needed to take charge and create organization.....and we did, and people liked that we did. With all that positiveness coming from me trying to be a leader,I still have issues with it.

There is so much I want to do, especially business wise. Most people in my program want to be lawyers, meanwhile this program is literally my plan B. I'm not sure I really want anything to do with Law although i've found that i'm pretty good at it. There are so many dreams I have, and Michigan has very few start off resources. In the back of my mind I knew I could start something great, and lead it.......but what if it fails? The unfortunate part of being an introvert I guess.

Failure is just not an option. I wish I knew like-minded people, then maybe I'd be a bit more motivated to get out here and do something great together, I am one who believes there is great power in a team. I'd rather everyone lead on a certain part of a whole goal then lead a whole group by myself..

This is something that I have to get a grip on if I want to own my own business and be great in life. Im 28 and I feel that time is slipping away. I wish I knew of some leadership classes I could take for free, i'm so open to learning and taking in everything I can right now, which is a good thing. I was not in that space a year ago. Maybe i'll google some good books I could buy or rent from the library.

Pray for me as I explore this new obstacle in my personality. I have come so far in how I think, and what I know. Leadership is the newest/oldest part of me that needs work. Now that I know this, its time to attack it head on.